Taking Back Confidence

I am only one, but still I am one. 

I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; 

and because I cannot do everything, 

I will not refuse to do something that I can do. 

-Helen Keller*

We have to stop meeting like this. Me and the computer, in the middle of the night. 

And yet here I am in its glow, prompted out of bed, my heart flooded with words. The sheets unable to contain me, the pillows lie unresponsive to my fists, failing to soothe or quiet my mind. 

I know what this means, where it leads, and even though it's late and I wonder if I didn't bring this on myself with caffeine, I'm thankful He's brought me back. 

Summer has officially come and gone and though this site has no record of it, much has transpired. In my mind I've written to you all along. 

The truth is I've spent a lot of time fighting battles and recovering from battles. I've been restless at times, desperately wanting a green light or open door to invite me into something new. I pray to see that thin line between personal responsibility and self-sufficiency so I might stop stepping outside of grace. I've been tired of looking at myself in the mirror, believing lies about who I am and tucking myself, my story, away into hiding. 

One of my biggest battles {dare I say this?} is with the blogging world. Did you know there are approximately one million essentials for blogging "success"? Okay, not that many, but the list seems to multiply as fast as dry yeast proofs, making writers and sites puffier alike. Are the days of finding entertainment, enrichment and inspiration through words alone truly gone? Are all writers now slaves to their social media platforms and mastery of photography & graphic design? Would my readers really multiply if  I offered giveaways or link-ups? "No," One might say, "your readers would multiply if you had a stronger network and were actually a 'somebody.'" ...

And thus, choosing defeat over faith, I've been hiding away, reverting back to old patterns of fearful, self-protecting, power-playing silence that are, frankly, suffocating. Why pour out my silly thoughts when the Real Writers, if they were to ever read my blog, would laugh and scoff? If I won't ever be called Success, why do it? (right?)

But God's been speaking to me about names, about how I don't need the world to call me Success because He calls me His. I am His Artwork, I am His Vessel. I am His Child, I am His Redeemed. Because of Him I am Enough, Gifted, Powerful, Lovable & Loving, I am Warrior and Steadfast. 

Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward. 

Hebrews 10:35 AMP

Battle ensues when someone or something sets itself up against God and His purposes. Sometimes that someone is the enemy, coaxing me to give up my knowledge of Him who calls and empowers. Sometimes that someone is me, my weary  flesh longing after earthly accolades and progress. Whoever you're battling, know that there is freedom and victory in Christ. We don't need to be burdened or angry, we don't need to shrink back or throw in the towel. We only need His truth to light the way and free our feet to walk toward His call. Whether He intends for us to stand upon a widely visible platform or within a small radius of pointed power, it is He who assigns significance, and His name that achieves any good and lasting thing. 

I write because I can't help but tell of the work God has done and is doing in me so that you might see Him dancing over you in a similar way. I write to let you know that you don't have to live in captivity to the deceitful, looping tapes in your head. I write because God compels me to do so; I am "louder" than my nature prefers because I'd rather be called Faithful by the Lord than Trending by the world. 

Ultimately, it doesn't matter if you remember my name, my blog address, my pictures or graphics. What matters is that, at the perfect moment, you say to yourself, "I remember reading a story about how God..." revealed Himself, intervened, saved, freed, healed, provided, blessed, did the impossible. What matters is that through my words you are increasingly convinced of His goodness, that your heart learns to praise Him and trust in His power and love. Through my story may you hear God speak to you, call your name, and embolden you to hold onto your fearless confidence in Him one day at a time. 

I'm excited to open my summer notes and share the happenings. You might not see many pictures, and I might post on the "wrong" day for maximum traffic, but I pray your hungry heart finds what it needs. 

*Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/25-awesome-perseverance-quotes/#ixzz2fnC8Rv6Q